Natasha Romanoff: Guide and Owner's Manual
by Erestory
Summary: Scared in your own home? Found a knife hidden under your pillow? Wondering why there is a black leather cat suit in your size? This manual will bring you peace.


Congratulations!

You are now the owner of a fully automated **Natasha Romanoff **unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your national Icon, please pay close attention to the following instructions.

**Basic Information:**

**Name: **Natalia "Natasha Romanoff" Romanova

**Date Of Manufacture: **Year of 1985

**Place Of Manufacture: **Marvel, Nine Realms

**Height: **Around 5'3"

**Weight: **Unknown

**Race: **Human

**Your **_**Natasha **_**unit will come with the following accessories**

Three shirts

Two pants

2 pairs of boots

2 Set of Body Armor

2 Widow Bites

1 Mistress of Disguise

When you first open your **Natasha **unit, she will be cold and on the edge. Be calm, keep your distance and she will not kill you.

**Cleaning: **The **Natasha **unit is fully capable of cleaning herself and will help you keep the house clean.

**Programming:**

Your **Natasha** unit is intelligent and competent, and can carry out the following functions:

**Dance Instructor: **Being an artist when it comes to ballet **Natasha **will make an excellent instructor for you and your friends. Prepare for those limbs to be straight and spins elegant.

**Hacker: **As one of the most intelligent people in the world she can hack anything from your ex's laptop to NASA most forbidden files. (Be prepared to replace what she used.)

**Date: **Being the beautiful woman that she is you will not be a wall flower with her on your side.

**Bodyguard: **Don't let her looks fool you because she is as deadly as beautiful. She can defend you from the guy at the grocery store to a legion of HYDRA agents.

**Your **_**Natasha **_**unit comes with five different modes:**

Undercover Sister

Companion

Match maker

Black Widow

Afraid

**Undercover Sister **is activated when **Natasha **feels she is in a situation where she needs to hide. She will make up cover stories, dress in different styles, and might kiss you if she feels it is necessary.

The **Companion **mode is activated whenever **Natasha** is with other units she trust like the **Clint, Coulson, **and **Steve**. She will give small smiles, make a few jokes, _might _laugh, drink (little), and go for rides and study people. She will also react differently to different units in this mode.

The **Match maker** mode is activated when **Natasha **sees someone who she thinks will be good for another person who is not currently dating. Once she learns enough about the person she will recommend dates, offers advice and would even make blind dates.

The **Black Widow** is activated when **Natasha **is on a mission or in a battle. She will take down her enemies, follow orders, hijack flying vehicles, rescue civilians, steal her enemies' guns, and reminisce with a **Clint **unit.

The **Afraid **mode is activated when **Natasha **is attacked by a **Bruce **unit when he is in **HULK **mode. She will run for her life, hide, and cause distractions. Afterwards she will curl in a ball and hyperventilate. 

_**Reaction to other units:**_

**Thor Odinson**: These two get along fine. They will have words if they have made contact with a mad **Loki** it will cause no lasting effects. On their down time they will eat, spar, watch tv and save the world together.

**Clint Barton: **This unit is a fellow avenger. The **Natasha** and **Clint **are really close and would kill and die for each other. Together they will spar, drink, talk, watch movies, eat, sit in silence, and go on missions together.

**Steve Rogers**: These two have no problems with each other. They are also the ideal choice when rescuing hostages from ships. When in the rest period the **Natasha** unit will try to find a date for the **Steve **unit and will usually refer to him as a fossil. Sometimes they will ride around in fast cars and talk about what ever hits them.

**Tony Stark**: The **Natasha **and the **Tony **don't really trust each other but they will not attempt to kill each other. They will most likely snarl and playfully insult each other. The **Tony **will also flirt with **Natasha **but nothing would come from it.

**Bruce Banner**: The** Natasha** and **Bruce** can be left alone as long as she doesn't lie to him and Bruce doesn't test her (she will pull a weapon.) Otherwise they will discuss random topics, watch movies and eat.

**Loki Odin-Laufeyson**: The Natasha and a mad Loki will often get into battles of words which usually ends in "mewling quim" being thrown around. If these two come into contact and madness is not activated then **Natasha** will stay in companion mode. They will also watch movies and eat large amounts of ice cream.

**Nick Fury**: The **Fury **is the boss of a **Natasha** unit. No problems here.

**Phil Coulson**: The **Coulson** unit is a good friend and handler of the **Natasha **unit.

**Frequently** **Asked Questions**

**Q: **My **Natasha** and my **Tony **are almost at each other's throat and I don't want no bloodshed. Help!

**A: ** Try and keep them at their respectful corners. If all else fails than get a** Clint** units. He is good with crazy and help you keep the peace.

**Q: ** My **Natasha **keeps trying to find me a mate. I don't want to date anything but my textbooks! What do I do to make her stop? 

**A: **Go along with it for at least one date. If it doesn't go well than tell her how you feel and she will back off.

**Q: ** I came home and saw my unit hiding in a corner of the apartment shaking and she will neither talk to me nor come out. How can I snap her out of it?

**A: ** Find a **Clint **and put a **Loki** in mad mode after him. Give them about ten minutes and tell **Natasha**. She will snap out of it and save the day. Or reset her.

**Q: ** I asked my unit to teach me ballet but now I regret it. She is strict and gives me no slack. What can I do?

**A: **Either live up to her expectations and become better or quit. She is only trying to help you in the long run.

**Warranty: **With proper care, the **Natasha **unit will live for years and might die of old age, unless a battle kills her. However, if you get scared with the deadly seductress, you can always send her back to our company for a full refund (within 12 months of purchase).

_**AN: I own nothing.**_


End file.
